Many Things Remembered
by Lover of Angelus
Summary: Dean Winchester remembers many things. He remembers the first time his mother brought Sammy home. He had been so tiny and so fragile. WINCEST.


III **Many Things Remembered**

II **Disclaimer** : Me now own, You no sue. Song is by Bryan Adams feat. Sarah McLachlanand is called "Don't Let Go".

I **WARNINGS**

II **_WINCEST_**

III Character _deaths_

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Dean Winchester remembers many things. He remembers the first time he kissed Sam using his tongue, he was twenty, Sam sixteen and finally beginning to fill out as his lanky arms grew their muscle and his thighs and calves seemed to get bigger and bigger each week. He remembers that on the midnight beginning each birthday for the next three years, he would do something for Sam, well… _to_ Sam. On his seventeenth birthday, he had give Sam his first blowjob and than after the day was over, Sam returned the favor. When Sam turned eighteen, Dean fucked him senseless. 

_I can't believe this moment's come  
__It's so incredible that we're alone  
__There's so much to be said and done  
__It's impossible not to be overcome_

Dean Winchester remembers many things. He remembers the first time his mother brought Sammy home. He had been so tiny and so fragile. However, Sam's grip was strong as he grinned and laughed up at Dean's face, Sam's green eyes light and cheerful. And Dean promised he would look after this tiny miniature of his father forever.

_Will you forgive me if I feel this way  
__Cuz we've just met – tell me that's OK  
__So take this feelin 'n make it grow  
__Never let it – never let it go_

Dean Winchester remembers many things. He remembers the first time he and his brother argued over the shower and Sam's excessive use of hot water. He didn't really mind cold showers he just wanted another reason to kiss and make up with Sam. He remembers every argument and the make-up kiss/blowjob/sex/ that followed after, all depending on Sam's age.

_(Don't let go of the things you believe in)  
__You give me something that I can believe in  
__(Don't let go of this moment in time)  
__Go of this moment in time  
__(Don't let go of the things that you're feeling)  
__(Don't let go)  
__No, I won't let go_

Dean Winchester remembers many things. He remembers the first time he realized that he didn't just _love_ his brother; he was _in love_ with his brother. He remembers the feel of Sam's lips against his own, Sam's hips grinding into his, Sam's hands working off both pairs of jeans. He remembers looking into Sam's eyes and wanting never to let his brother go for so long as he lived and he knew that if any one ever tried to touch him or take him away, he would kill them without hesitation. This was his Sam, his and his alone. No one touched what belonged to a Winchester for they were known as fierce protectors.

_Now would you mind if I bared my soul  
__If I came right out and said you're beautiful  
__Cuz there's something here I can't explain  
__I fell I'm diving into driving rain_

Dean Winchester remembers many things. He remembers the first time Sam admitted that he loved Dean more than anything else… that Dean was his everything, his whole universe. Then Dean felt the "but" and Sam brought to light his plans for college. He told Dean that he had several universities in mind and that he wanted to actually go to law school. Said he wanted to put criminals behind bars, said that Dean and dad could take the supernatural murderers and he would take the human ones. Dean felt himself break just a little as Sam told him everything but he hid it well as he made love to Sam that night, slow and gentle.

_You get my senses running wild  
I can't resist your sweet, sweet smile  
So take this feeling 'n make it grow  
Never let it – never let it go_

Dean Winchester remembers many things. He remembers the first time and only time he let Sam fuck him. It was the night before Sam went off to college and they were both shit-faced. He remembers starting to suck Sam off slowly, his going away present along with a curved knife and a book with every exorcism spell ever come up with, and then stopping and kissing Sam full on the lips. Sam got the silent message and slowly switched places with Dean. The image of his older brother on his back and eyes rolled into the back of his head as he thrust into him burned itself behind Sam's eyelids.

_(Don't let go of the things you believe in)  
__You give me something that I can believe in  
__(Don't let go of this moment in time)  
__Go of this moment in time  
__(Don't let go of the things that you're feeling)  
__(Don't let go)  
__No, I won't let go_

Dean Winchester remembers many things. He remembers making all sorts of promises to Sam and his father and the girls he met in random bars at random towns. He remembers promising Sam that if Sam died, he would follow right after. Both brothers were selfish like that. They were both selfish in a way that if one died, the other had better feel enough to end their own life. He remembers making that promise, but he never thought he'd have the chance to honor it. Nevertheless, he makes sure that Sam gets a good funeral in Lawrence, buried right next to their mother. He leaves a voice mail on dad's phone that Sam is dead and that he'll be joining him soon. He makes a quick stop in Lake Minitoc, Wisconsin, and leave the Impala on Lucas Barr's doorstep, taking the bus back to Kansas. He smiles as he looks down at Sam's grave and apologizes; just had something he remembered he needed to do. He pulls out the .45 that he usually kept tucked in the back of his pants and gave the walls of the motel a new paint job.

_I've been waiting all my life  
To make this moment feel so right  
The feel of you just fills the night  
So c'mon – just hold on tight._

_

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